Finding a surrogate is a big step on your path to parenthood. If you’re dealing with medical issues, infertility, or you’re in a same-sex partnership, surrogacy can help you build the family you’ve always wanted.
But how hard is it to find a surrogate? And how long does it take to find the right match? This guide answers these questions and walks you through everything you need to know about finding a gestational surrogate.
Key Takeaways
- Finding a surrogate takes 3–6 months with agencies, up to 1 year independently.
- Agencies provide screening, legal, and medical support.
- The full journey usually takes 12–18 months.
- Success depends on a healthy surrogate, legal contracts, and good communication.
How Hard Is It to Find a Surrogate?
The good news? Finding a surrogate is definitely possible with the right approach. Most intended parents successfully match with a surrogate within 3-6 months when working with reputable agencies.
The process involves several steps, but you don’t have to navigate them alone. Whether you choose an agency or go independent, there are clear paths forward.
Best Places to Find a Surrogate
1. Surrogacy Agencies (Recommended for Most Parents)
Surrogacy agencies are your best bet for finding a qualified surrogate. These agencies act as matchmakers, connecting you with pre-screened candidates who meet strict health and legal requirements.
What agencies provide: Agencies give you access to a large network of potential surrogates who have already passed complete medical and psychological screening. They handle background checks, financial verification, coordinate legal support, and connect you with escrow and insurance professionals. Most importantly, they coordinate medical appointments and provide ongoing support throughout your journey.
Why choose an agency? Agencies offer peace of mind through rigorous surrogate screening. They support your need for legal protection with experienced attorneys handling contracts, medical coordination through direct relationships with fertility clinics, and a complete support system with professional guidance when challenges arise.
Village Surrogacy offers full-service support for intended parents. Their team handles matching, screening, and provides guidance throughout your surrogacy experience.
2. Independent Surrogacy Search
Some parents choose to find a surrogate on their own through personal networks, online platforms, or surrogacy forums. This approach can save money on agency fees but requires much more hands-on involvement.
Independent search options: You can find surrogates through personal referrals from friends and family, online surrogacy matching websites, social media groups and forums, or fertility clinic referrals.
What you’ll handle independently: When you choose independent surrogacy, you become responsible for all screening and background checks, medical appointment coordination, legal contract negotiations, financial arrangements, and ongoing communication and support.
Important note: Independent surrogacy puts all responsibility on your shoulders. You’ll need to coordinate medical screenings, hire separate attorneys, and manage the entire process yourself.
How to Choose a Surrogate
Once you know where to look, here’s how to pick the right surrogate for your family.
1. Medical Health Requirements
Your surrogate’s health directly affects your pregnancy success. Look for these key factors:
Must-haves: Your surrogate should have a healthy BMI (typically 18.5-32), a history of successful uncomplicated pregnancies, be a non-smoker with no drug or alcohol use, and maintain up-to-date medical records with regular healthcare.
Medical screening includes: The screening process covers a complete physical exam, reproductive health assessment, blood work and genetic testing, plus a psychological evaluation.
2. Emotional Readiness
Surrogacy involves complex emotions for everyone involved. Your surrogate should be emotionally stable and mature, finished building her own family, supported by family and friends who understand surrogacy, and clear about her motivations for becoming a surrogate.
3. Legal Considerations
Surrogacy laws vary by state, so legal preparation is crucial. Both parties need separate attorneys for independent legal representation. You need clear contracts covering compensation, medical decisions, and parental rights. Make sure surrogacy is legal where your surrogate lives, and work with experienced lawyers who specialize in reproductive law.
4. Communication Style and Compatibility
You’ll work closely with your surrogate for 9+ months, so consider how often you want to communicate, your involvement in appointments and birth, lifestyle preferences during pregnancy, and decision-making about medical care.
Key questions to discuss: What level of contact feels comfortable for both parties? Who will attend doctor visits? How will you handle medical decisions? What are everyone’s expectations about the birth plan?
Learn more: North Carolina Surrogacy Laws: What Intended Parents & Carriers Need to Know
How Long to Find a Surrogate
Timeline expectations: The agency route typically takes 1-4 months to match with a surrogate, while independent search can take 3-12 months and varies widely. The total process from start to baby usually spans 12-18 months.
Factors that affect timing: Your timeline depends on your flexibility with surrogate criteria, geographic preferences, seasonal variations in available surrogates, and the complexity of your medical situation.
Making Your Decision: Agency vs. Independent
Choose an Agency If You Want:
Professional screening and support, legal and medical coordination, reduced stress and workload, and experienced guidance throughout the process.
Choose Independent If You:
Have a known surrogate in mind, want more control over the process, prefer to save on agency fees, and have time to manage all details yourself.
Your Next Steps
Finding the right surrogate takes time, but thousands of families successfully navigate this journey every year. Start by researching your options and comparing agencies in your area or exploring independent resources. Set your budget to understand all costs involved in your chosen path. Prepare emotionally by considering counseling to help process this journey. Then begin connecting with agencies or exploring independent options to start your search.
Ready to Begin Your Surrogate Search?
At Village Surrogacy, we understand that finding a surrogate feels overwhelming. Our experienced team specializes in creating successful matches between intended parents and qualified surrogates.
We handle the complex details so you can focus on preparing for your future family. From initial screening to birth day support, we’re with you every step of the way.
Ready to learn more? Contact Village Surrogacy today to discuss how we can help you find the perfect surrogate for your family’s journey to parenthood.
