As intended parents move through their surrogacy journey, one of the questions I hear most often is: “What can we do to be supportive of our GC?”
Most of the time, the answer is simpler than you might think. It’s the same things we all want in our relationships—whether with a partner, family member, or coworker—to feel seen and appreciated. Taking a little time to show gratitude for your gestational carrier can have a bigger impact than you might expect. Even small gestures—a heartfelt note, a quick check-in call, or a thoughtful gift—can help your GC feel valued and supported. When she feels appreciated, it often leads to easier communication, smoother appointments, and a more positive experience for everyone involved.
Why Showing Appreciation Matters
You don’t need to do anything elaborate or over-the-top. It’s really about acknowledging the care and effort she’s putting into your journey. Those small moments of gratitude can foster a warmer, more trusting connection and make the entire process feel lighter and more joyful—for both you and your GC.
Simple Ways to Show Appreciation
Even small gestures can make a big impact. Here are a few ways intended parents have expressed gratitude during the surrogacy journey:
- Handwritten Notes or Cards
A thoughtful card or note can mean a lot. Whether it’s celebrating a milestone in the pregnancy or just sending encouragement, these personal touches show your GC that you’re thinking of her. - Phone Calls or Video Messages
Sometimes hearing your voice or seeing your smile is the best way to connect. A brief call or video message expressing gratitude can go a long way. - Small, Thoughtful Gifts
Gifts don’t have to be extravagant—cozy socks, a favorite snack, or a book she can read to pass time while awaiting appointments are all meaningful ways to show care and appreciation. - Celebrating Milestones Together
Whether it’s the day of an important appointment or an exciting pregnancy milestone, acknowledging these moments together strengthens your relationship and makes the journey feel more shared. - Supportive Communication
Regular check-ins, listening with empathy, and acknowledging the physical and emotional effort involved in surrogacy are simple yet profound ways to show you care.
Building Connection Beyond Gestures
While gifts and notes are wonderful, true connection comes from authentic, consistent engagement:
- Listen and be present: Ask how she’s feeling, both physically and emotionally, and genuinely listen.
- Share your hopes and excitement: Let your GC know what these milestones mean to you—it helps her feel part of the journey in a meaningful way.
- Respect boundaries: Every surrogate and intended parent relationship is unique. Being mindful of personal boundaries shows respect and thoughtfulness.
During the Holidays
The holiday season is a wonderful opportunity to show your gestational carrier how much she’s appreciated. Even a simple card, a quick phone call, or a small thoughtful gift can bring warmth and joy, letting her know she’s valued and supported. These gestures don’t just brighten her day—they help strengthen your partnership and create lasting memories.
Looking for inspiration? Here are five thoughtful holiday gift ideas to consider:
- Cozy Self‑Care Package – Think soft socks or slippers, a warm blanket or cozy shawl, and a scented candle or calming tea. Pregnancy can be physically and emotionally intense—comfort items like these help your GC feel cared for and appreciated.
- Gift Cards – A thoughtful gift certificate can feel incredibly special, especially for something she’ll enjoy—like a massage, prenatal yoga class, or a spa day. Even a gentle prenatal massage or a relaxing stretch class can provide much-needed rest and stress relief.
- Healthy Snacks or Treat Box – A basket filled with nutritious snacks (nuts, dried fruit, granola, herbal teas) — or indulgent treats if that’s her style — is a practical and thoughtful way to support her well-being and show you care about her comfort.
- Family-Focused Gift – Many gestational carriers love putting family first. Consider a gift she can enjoy with her loved ones, like a special Lego set, an arts-and-crafts kit, or a fun board game. It’s a sweet way to honor her life outside the journey.
- Handwritten Card or Letter + Small Personal Touch – Sometimes the simplest gifts are the most meaningful. A heartfelt, handwritten note expressing gratitude—perhaps paired with a small item like a cozy scarf, plant, or holiday ornament—can be more touching than anything expensive.
Final Thought
Surrogacy is a journey of collaboration, trust, and care. By intentionally showing appreciation and building connection with your gestational carrier, you create an environment of support, respect, and gratitude. These relationships are the heart of the surrogacy experience, and nurturing them makes the journey—and the moments that follow—even more meaningful.
