Choosing a surrogacy agency is a big decision. You may be comparing websites, reading reviews, talking to different teams, and trying to figure out what makes one agency different from another.
One of the best ways to compare your options is also one of the simplest:
Ask questions.
A conversation with an agency can tell you a lot about how they communicate, how they support their surrogates, and what your experience might look like throughout the journey.
And don't worry about asking too many questions. You should feel comfortable getting the information you need before deciding whether an agency is right for you.
If you're looking for a surrogacy agency in North Carolina, you may also want to ask questions about the agency's experience working with North Carolina surrogates, local fertility clinics and providers, and attorneys familiar with North Carolina surrogacy.
Here are some questions we recommend asking.
Key Takeaways
- Ask about the agency's experience, screening process, matching philosophy, and ongoing support.
- Make sure you understand compensation, reimbursements, insurance, and other financial details before you commit.
- Find out who will be your main contact and what communication and support will look like throughout the journey.
- Ask how the agency handles difficult situations, unsuccessful matches, medical complications, and rematching.
- Make sure you will have independent legal counsel and understand the legal process before signing a surrogacy agreement.
- Pay attention to how the agency makes you feel. You should feel comfortable asking questions and making your own decisions.
1. How Much Experience Does Your Agency Have?
It's completely reasonable to ask how long an agency has been working in surrogacy and what kinds of journeys they typically support.
You may want to ask:
- How long have you been helping people through surrogacy?
- How many journeys do you typically manage?
- Do you work primarily with surrogates in North Carolina or across multiple states?
- What fertility clinics and professionals do you commonly work with?
- What happens when a journey doesn't go according to plan?
Experience matters, but don't assume that a larger agency automatically means a better experience.
A smaller agency may offer a more personal experience, while a larger agency may have a bigger staff or different resources. The important thing is understanding what the agency's experience means for your support.
2. How Do You Screen Surrogates and Intended Parents?
Surrogacy is built around relationships, so the screening and preparation process matters.
Ask how the agency evaluates both surrogates and intended parents before they enter the matching process.
You can ask:
- What screening does a potential surrogate complete?
- What screening do intended parents complete?
- Who conducts the medical and psychological evaluations?
- Are background checks completed?
- What information will I receive about intended parents before considering a match?
- How do you make sure everyone understands the responsibilities involved in surrogacy?
A thorough process should do more than determine whether someone meets basic qualifications. It should also help prepare everyone for the realities of a surrogacy journey.
3. How Does Your Matching Process Work?
Matching isn't simply about finding intended parents who are looking for a surrogate.
It's about finding a relationship that feels comfortable and appropriate for both sides.
Ask how the agency gets to know you before suggesting a match.
What do they want to know about your personality? Your communication style? Your boundaries? Your thoughts about pregnancy, appointments, and the relationship with the intended parents?
It's also important to understand what happens when you don't feel comfortable with a match.
You should be able to say no.
Ask the agency:
What happens if I don't want to move forward with a match?
Their answer can tell you a lot about how much control you'll have over the matching process.
4. How Much Information Will I Have Before I Say Yes to a Match?
You deserve enough information to make an informed decision.
Ask what you'll receive about the intended parents and whether you'll have an opportunity to speak with them before deciding whether to move forward.
You may want to understand:
- Their family and background
- Their expectations for communication
- Their thoughts about appointments
- Their expectations around the pregnancy and birth
- What kind of relationship they hope to have with their surrogate
- Any preferences or expectations that could affect your comfort level
The goal isn't to find intended parents who are exactly like you.
It's to understand whether the relationship feels like one you could see yourself entering.
5. What Happens If a Match Doesn't Work Out?
Even after careful matching, sometimes a relationship doesn't work out.
Ask about the agency's rematching process before you sign up.
Find out:
- What happens if a match ends before embryo transfer?
- What happens if circumstances change after a match?
- Will I be able to revisit my preferences?
- Are there additional fees?
- What support will I receive during rematching?
You don't want to find yourself learning the answers to these questions for the first time when you're already in a difficult situation.
6. Who Will Support Me During My Journey?
Ask what happens after you match.
Who will you talk to when you have a question?
Will you have a dedicated coordinator or case manager? Will you have one primary contact? What happens if they're unavailable?
You should also ask how often the agency checks in and what support looks like during:
- Medical screening
- Legal contracts
- Embryo transfer
- Pregnancy
- Delivery
- Postpartum recovery
A good agency relationship shouldn't disappear once you're matched. You should know who is there for you throughout the journey.
7. What Happens If Something Unexpected Comes Up?
This is one of the most important questions you can ask.
Surrogacy doesn't always go exactly according to plan. An embryo transfer may not result in a pregnancy. A pregnancy may involve complications. Communication challenges can happen. Plans can change.
Ask the agency how they handle difficult situations.
What happens if you and the intended parents disagree?
Who helps facilitate the conversation?
What happens if there is an urgent concern outside regular business hours?
How does the agency support you if you need additional medical care or your recovery takes longer than expected?
You don't need an agency that promises nothing will ever go wrong.
You need an agency that has a plan for when something does.
8. What Kind of Emotional Support Do You Provide?
Surrogacy can bring a lot of emotions, sometimes ones you don't expect.
Ask what emotional support is available before, during, and after your journey.
Does the agency provide access to a counselor or mental health professional? Can your partner participate in counseling or support conversations? What happens if you are struggling emotionally during or after pregnancy?
You may never need every resource available to you.
But knowing what resources exist can make you feel more prepared.
9. How Do You Handle Communication?
Communication looks different from person to person.
Some surrogates prefer texting. Others want phone calls or email. Some want frequent updates, while others prefer to hear from their coordinator when there is something specific to discuss.
Ask the agency:
- How will we communicate?
- Who is my primary contact?
- How quickly should I expect a response?
- Is there someone I can contact after hours?
- How are medical updates communicated?
- How do you help manage communication with intended parents?
And pay attention to how they communicate with you during this conversation.
Are they listening?
Are they answering your questions?
Are they rushing through the call?
Do you feel comfortable telling them when you don't understand something?
That experience can tell you a lot.
10. How Does Compensation Work?
Compensation is important, and you should feel completely comfortable asking detailed questions about it.
Don't look only at the advertised base compensation. Ask about the entire financial package.
Find out how the agency handles:
- Base compensation
- Expense reimbursements
- Medical expenses
- Maternity clothing
- Travel
- Childcare
- Lost wages, when applicable
- Payments related to certain medical circumstances
- Insurance expenses
- Escrow
Ask when payments are made, how reimbursements work, and what documentation you may need to provide.
Most importantly, make sure the financial terms you are promised are reflected in your written agreement.
11. How Do You Handle Insurance?
Insurance can be one of the more complicated parts of surrogacy.
Ask how the agency helps review your health insurance and identify any exclusions or limitations related to a surrogacy pregnancy.
You may also want to ask:
- Who reviews my insurance?
- What happens if my existing insurance can't be used?
- Who is responsible for premiums or uncovered expenses?
- What happens if my coverage changes during the pregnancy?
- How are insurance-related expenses handled?
Your agency may help coordinate the process, but insurance questions should be answered by the appropriate professionals.
12. What Legal Support Will I Have?
You should have your own attorney who represents your interests throughout the surrogacy agreement.
Ask the agency how they help coordinate independent legal counsel and when you'll have the opportunity to review the agreement.
Your attorney should explain the agreement, your rights and responsibilities, and any provisions that may affect your journey.
You should have time to ask questions and understand what you're signing before you agree to move forward.
The agency should never make you feel rushed through the legal process.
13. What Should North Carolina Surrogates Know?
If you're looking for a North Carolina surrogacy agency, ask what experience the agency has working with surrogates in the state.
You may want to ask:
- How many North Carolina surrogacy journeys do you coordinate?
- Which fertility clinics in North Carolina do you commonly work with?
- How do you coordinate with North Carolina attorneys?
- What happens if the intended parents live in another state?
- What happens if my medical care takes place outside North Carolina?
- Who helps coordinate travel and appointments?
Surrogacy journeys can involve people in different cities and even different states, so don't assume everything will happen in one place.
A local agency can still support a journey that crosses state lines.
At Village Surrogacy, we're based in the Triangle and work with surrogates throughout North Carolina and beyond. We understand the local community while also recognizing that every journey may involve a different combination of clinics, attorneys, intended parents, and other professionals.
14. Can I Talk to Other Surrogates?
This can be one of the most helpful questions to ask.
See whether the agency can connect you with current or former surrogates who are willing to talk about their experience.
Ask another surrogate:
Did you feel supported?
Was your coordinator responsive?
Did you feel comfortable asking questions?
Did the experience match what you were told at the beginning?
What do you wish you had known before you started?
An agency can tell you what it does.
Another surrogate can tell you what it actually felt like.
15. What Happens After the Baby Is Born?
Don't forget to ask about the end of the journey.
What kind of contact will the agency have with you after delivery?
Will someone check in? Is postpartum emotional support available? What happens if you need additional resources after the journey ends?
The end of the pregnancy doesn't necessarily mean the experience is emotionally finished.
You deserve support as you transition into whatever comes next.
What Should You Look for in Their Answers?
Asking questions is only half of the process.
Pay attention to how the agency answers them.
Do they welcome your questions or seem uncomfortable with them?
Do they give you specific answers or vague promises?
Do they take time to explain something when you don't understand?
Do they respect your boundaries?
Do they encourage you to take your time?
Do you feel like you're being treated as a person or as a potential match?
Those details matter.
There may not be one perfect answer to every question. What matters is whether the agency's approach feels right for you.
Choosing a Surrogacy Agency in North Carolina
If you're comparing surrogacy agencies in North Carolina, take your time.
Talk to more than one agency. Ask the same questions. Compare the answers. But also pay attention to the relationships you're building during those conversations.
At Village Surrogacy, we believe support starts long before you match with intended parents.
We're a small, relationship-focused agency based in the Triangle, and we want our surrogates to feel comfortable asking questions, setting boundaries, and making informed decisions throughout the journey.
We don't expect you to know everything before you reach out.
That's part of what we're here for.
Whether you're just starting to explore surrogacy or you've already talked with several agencies and still have questions, we're happy to help you understand what the process looks like and what support could look like for you.
Because choosing an agency isn't just about choosing who will manage your journey.
It's about choosing who you want in your village.
Learn more about becoming a surrogate with Village Surrogacy.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What questions should I ask a surrogacy agency?
Ask about the agency's experience, screening process, matching process, compensation, insurance, communication, legal support, emotional support, rematching policies, and what happens when unexpected circumstances arise.
2. How many surrogacy agencies should I talk to?
There is no required number. Talking with multiple agencies can help you compare different approaches and get a better sense of what type of support and communication style feels right for you.
3. What should I ask about compensation?
Ask about base compensation, reimbursements, travel, childcare, lost wages, medical expenses, insurance, escrow, payment timing, and what happens if unexpected expenses arise.
4. Can I say no to a surrogate match?
You should be able to decide whether you are comfortable moving forward with a potential match. Ask each agency how they handle declined matches and what happens if a relationship isn't the right fit.
5. What happens if my surrogacy match doesn't work out?
Ask about the agency's rematching process before you commit. Find out what happens financially, how the agency helps you find another match, and what support is available during the transition.
6. Do I need my own surrogacy attorney?
Yes. You should have independent legal counsel who represents your interests and helps you understand your surrogacy agreement before you sign.
7. Should I ask an agency about emotional support?
Absolutely. Ask what counseling or mental health resources are available during screening, pregnancy, and after delivery. Emotional support is an important part of the surrogacy experience.
8. What should I ask a North Carolina surrogacy agency?
Ask about the agency's experience supporting North Carolina surrogates, its relationships with local fertility clinics and professionals, how it coordinates legal support, and how it handles journeys involving people in different states.
9. Can I talk to other surrogates before choosing an agency?
Ask whether the agency can connect you with current or former surrogates. Their firsthand experience can give you insight into how the agency communicates and supports its surrogates.
10. How do I know if a surrogacy agency is a good fit for me?
Pay attention to how you feel during your conversations. You should feel comfortable asking questions, understand the answers you're given, and feel respected rather than pressured. The right agency should make you feel like a person first.